hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize