hell yes lets make some ravioli
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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