he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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