dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
