You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Randomize
