I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
