what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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