He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
