dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize