there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
