your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
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