that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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