cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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