No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
