you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Randomize
