i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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