spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
He? As in you personified your dick?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Randomize
