You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
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I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
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He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?