no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
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Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
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You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.