I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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