i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
