You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
