Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
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That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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