Jerry, you need to find god
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
