Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
