I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
