I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
