Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
