I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
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he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
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