soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
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Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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