I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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