no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
