is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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