we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
