Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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