dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
