I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize