Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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