Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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