Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
