you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
