if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Randomize
