did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
