i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
