Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
