we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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