dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
