We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
