I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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