You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
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