Just mADE A PArabola og urine
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
