Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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