just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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