are you still at the devil's house?
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
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