If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
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It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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