I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
