Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
My penis needs a shock collar
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
