it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
