Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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