whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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