Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
how does that bad decision feel?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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