That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
