I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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