i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
